The Places We Should Have Gone
by MissNata13
Summary: Sometimes we take things for granted and when we noticed that we've let them slip through our hands, it's almost impossible to gain them back.  Lily/James
1. Chapter 1

**This was inspirited by a youtube video I saw. I know. LAME but it was a good concept and shamefully I had to steal the idea. I'm a horrible person. Even the title is very unoriginal. I suppose I thought readers would like the concept so I adapted it to the Harry Potter world. Hope you like it!**

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><p><span>The Places We Should Have Gone<span>

**I.**

There came a time where Lily and James drifted apart and it happened right in the end of seventh year. There wasn't a huge fight or an intense break up. They had simply concentrated on their own coming futures.

What they didn't know was that their futures actually coincided.

Lily Evan hardly left her desk in the evenings, always busy in the study of her dormitory. James Potter, besides running amok the school grounds, was finally working earnestly on his schooling. He often only did enough to earn himself the right marks to become an Auror but he found that he was more passionate about his future job due to the ominous shadow of what was to come. He invested more and more time on his studies than he did in Lily, his girlfriend.

He had regrettably become indifferent about their relationship that he had worked hard to gain in the first place. It's not that he didn't love Lily, he loved her to bits, it was the Dark Lord that was finally piercing fear into every single person, including himself.

A Gryffindor was _fearless_ and he hated that it was affecting him right down to his foundations.

Lily was well aware of this and during one last date on a cold night at Hogsmeade gave her last effort.

James absentmindedly held on to his mug of hot butterbeer. Lily had been trying to coax him into their usual lighthearted conversations but it had failed. Not even the presence of Snape who just walked into Three Broomsticks with a rather smug looking girl, caught the attention of James who would have normally thrown an insult or two at Snape.

"James." Lily crisply shot at her boyfriend trying to catch his attention who was now toying with the hem of his jacket sleeve.

James finally looked up, "Yes?"

"I was talking about this summer before we start training in August. Do you want to go? I hear France is absolutely beautiful during the summer. I could almost smell their pastry shops and coffee. And the view from the highest level of the Eiffel Tower is amazing. We can go right after we finish up school before training starts for the Order." Lily insisted.

James shook his head, "Have you ever been around a million apple trees when they're blossoming in France? The smell is nauseating. Besides, I hear France isn't any safer than it is here."

"How about a beach? It's been a while since I've gone with my parents. It would be fun to go." Lily twirled a finger around her hair, "We can grab ice pops and rub sunscreen on our backs. We could build a sand castle and take a dip in the water. It would be nice to be a little tanned. We could take a stroll at nighttime too."

"Are you out of your mind? You know it's impossible to hide a wand in a bathing suit." James retorted.

"What's your point?" Lily crossed her arms.

"I mean what if there's an attack?" James challenged, shoving aside his drink that he hardly touched.

Lily's shoulders sank, "I suppose your right. Oh what about Italy? They have these amazing monuments and gelato. They have boat rides. We can take one."

"I hate gelato."

Lily laughed, "Come on James everyone likes gelato. You can't let what's coming get you down."

"It's time wasted." He shrugged, "You know at one point we're going to face dark and difficult things if we join the Order. We can't waste time musing what to do in the mean time."

"I suppose you're right…" Lily frowned, "But what about enjoying life before it's all too serious?"

James's lips formed a thin line. He slouched forward to whisper to Lily. He looked around, hesitating to speak.

"If you haven't noticed, it already is serious. There's countless Death Eaters at school including your precious Snape." James whispered, "The threat is upon us."

Lily looked torn, "Enjoying time with you is just as important as training, James. When we look back, I don't want to regret not spending enough time with you. Just you."

"I don't want to regret not spending enough time training in a middle of a battle." James finally took a full chug of his butterbeer.

Lily, clearly upset, stood up and grabbed her jacket. James rolled his eyes and called after his girlfriend as she made her way out. Although he knew he should chase after her, James stayed put. He knew he was right. Now was not the time to waste on petty trips. There was something much bigger at hand that require scarifies, James understood that. He didn't understand why Lily couldn't see that.

Lily, on the other hand, understood quite clearly. She knew why James was so concerned and worried. Everybody was. Fear was creeping up like an inevitable season. The shift in air was so strong and so obvious there was no doubt where the Wizarding World was headed toward next. It was a dizzying downward slope and they were right at the edge of the plunge. She wanted to take one final breath before moving forward but it was held in her lungs.

They hardly spent time together after that. It was gradual. They chatted once in awhile during breakfast or at dinner and sometimes discussed class assignments during Transfigurations but the sight of them together getting cozy by the fireplace or running around like kids near the Great Lake was a thing of the past. Their break up was assumed until Lily and James were diminished into nothing more but acquainted classmates.

Although they had faded off, Lily's feelings remained strong. She spent most of her nights crying in her sleep and avoided seeing him during school. She poured herself into her work. Lily considered herself lucky that school had distracted her but as the school year neared to it's end, Lily feared that time meddling alone at home waiting for August to come around will only work against her. She knew when she had nothing else to do she often let her mind wander off. She had plenty of memories of James to last her a life time and dwelling on them only regressed back to her former state. Lily refused to let that happen.

She decided to begin her training right after school ended, that way, all the hopes she had to spend time with James during the summer would be stuffed in the back of her mind.

Before she knew it, school was over and she was in a remote part of Ireland in training with Witches and Wizards that varied in age. They slept in tents and most of the days were rainy. Training did exactly as Lily hoped it would. She had forgotten.

She spent most of her time on guard for mock attacks and learned how to fight off four attackers at once. Her summer was not as fun and exciting as she hoped it would be but then again, it was a sacrifice and she knew it took just that to make the world a better place again.

When it was time to join the Order, Lily was hesitant. She wasn't sure how to act around James who was now a very popular and social Auror of the Order. She had Marlene McKinnon though, a bright witch and Auror with an even brighter insight on Lily and James relationship. Marlene insisted she join for the sake of her Wizarding World and for the sake of seeing James once more. Lily was still unconvinced but she joined anyways, for the sake of the impending future. She managed to avoid James several times during operations and if she needed to work with him directly, it was strictly business.

"You know you can't avoid him for that long. It's James. He's going to be around for a very long time." Marlene said, during an impromptu walk, in search for some food. They had found themselves on a busy street, full of restaurants, and had yet to settled themselves inside one.

Lily shrugged, "I'm not."

"Really?" Marlene asked, "You sure? Because I think I spot him."

Lily glared at her, "Don't lie."

Marlene elbowed her, "I'm not! Look!"

Marlene motioned over to a group of seemingly ordinary people. That group was none other than Lily's past classmates. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew where sharing a laugh right outside a tea shop less that a couple of meters away from them. James, who was beaming up at his friends, seemed to be causing all the laughter. Lily panicked. She looked around, trying to find a discrete escape route to run to.

She had heard that the rest of the boys had just joined the Order and Lily was actually hoping to see them before their next meeting but she did not want to bump into them on a casual meet up. Especially, if James was around. She couldn't imagine the embarrassment of their playful chatter if the topic would ever come around to James and Lily.

_"Is that who I think it is? Hey, Lils! Over here!"_

Lily knew that voice belonged to Sirius. He was perhaps the only stupid guy who would shorten her already short name. Lily looked up at Marlene and quickly apologized to her friend.

"You're right. I'm not ready." She bit her lip and, in haste, walked away. She desperately looked for a deserted spot, which was impossible on a busy street she was at. She nearly gave up and headed for a cab before finding a dark alley. She knew she was being followed but the moment she found an isolated spot she apparated back into her small flat she shared with Marlene back at the Order.

Lily had barely set her things down when she heard a small pop, right outside her door. She froze and hoped it was her imagination. Two solid knocks, proved her imagination wrong.

_"Lily, it's James."_

Lily winced. Her breathing became shallow and she felt the blood rush to her face. She didn't want to face James. She wasn't ready. No amount of Auror training would help her fight off her feelings that were rushing back to her. She had kept them well kept away in the mean time and she was proud that it was not affecting her work for the Order in anyway.

Still, her curiosity won the best of her and she crept over to her door to look through the peephole. James was looking around, him and his glory were unsure if visiting her was a good idea or not. He knocked once more before he gave up. Lily felt her insides deflate in relief. She sank to the floor leaning against her door. It was over. She rather face the Dark Lord three times than to face James at the moment. Her heart erratically began to slow down back to its normal pace. She took in Marlene's word of advice that she would have to face him sooner or later.

Lily just preferred later.

She made a mental note to begin to prepare for that as Lily stood up again to look through the peep hole. James was nowhere to be found. Just as Lily began a victory dance, a folded piece of parchment slipped through the crack. The letter stared at her. A clear sign that James was still out there. Her heart sank as she reached for the letter and quietly opened it.

_"Lily, _

_I find it strange to write to you now when I have plenty of time to speak to you in person. I suppose it's the scrutiny we're under that keeps me from doing so. _I thought about sending an owl but you know all about the secret locations. It would have been impossible to find you. _I can't believe that it's been almost a year since we've really been together back in school. _

_Time passes by so fast. _

_I hope your training went well. I heard you learned how to fight of a couple of people at once. It's not surprising. You are a talented witch. Marlene told me. I heard you two got pretty close during training. _

_I went to France a couple of weeks after school was over with some friends. You mentioned it before we split. It's not at all like England. It's seems untouched by all the evil here. But you were right, the pastry shops were delicious and the smell of coffee still haunts me to this day. The apple blossoms weren't that bad. It was sweet. They reminded me of you. _

_After France, Remus had some time off so we all went to the beach. The wands were easy to hide. Most people were too busy worrying about their own fun to care. We built sand castles. We even made one that looked like Hogwarts. I have a picture of Sirius destroying it. You know how he likes destroying everything. We even had ice pops. Lemon ones. I know those were your favorite. We forgot the sunscreen so we ended up like lobsters afterwards. The tan was worth it. I'm constantly mistaken for a handsome American bloke. _

_We trained in Italy. We didn't have a lot of time for ourselves but I did see a lot of museums. I can understand why muggles are so fascinated with art. It's spectacular what can be done with a hammer, a chisel, and some creativity. Before we left, I took a Gondola down the Riva del Vin. Those boat rides you wanted to go on were relaxing. I had a heaping cup of gelato while I traveled down the river. You were right, I do like gelato._

_I know it's stupid trying to fix things now when they weren't broken in the first place. We just fell apart and I want to place the pieces back together. It took me a while but you were right. _

_Wasting time wasn't a big deal as I made it seem. It made me appreciate what I'm fighting for but it made me realize that I also lost you…"_

Lily closed her eyes. She couldn't read any further. Knowing she was right did not make the situation any better. She still felt crummy and terrible. She didn't want to be right. She wanted to be left alone to mull things over. And just as she began reaching for her things to disappear, Marlene apparated into her flat.

"Hey Lily!" She yawned, "You missed a good meal."

The knock returned.

_"Lily, I know you're in there. Open up."_

Marlene sheepishly shrugged at Lily who began for the door. She didn't want to face James but then again, when is someone fully prepare to face anything in life? Lily cracked the door open and looked up at James who noticed his letter in her hands. He shamefully hung his head and bit his lip.

"Come, I want to show you something." He said and Lily forced herself to follow along.

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><p><strong>It's a twofic. The next chapter should be up in a couple of hours. I just had to get this off my chest and I've been itching to write again. <strong>

**Review?**

**Please?**

**Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the ending!**

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><p><span>The Places We Should Have Gone<span>

**II.**

Lily kept her distance from James. She crossed her arms for safety and for warmth. It was a cold night like it was on their last date except London was no Hogsmeade. The jungle of concrete and bricks turned into a Garden that Lily used to frequent when she was little. Unfortunately, there wasn't a single inch of snow around to cover the dead leaves and to decorate the branches of the bare trees. Kensington Gardens was lifeless in the middle of winter. Lily had no idea why James would bring her here, still she felt her feet moving forward on the slim wet cobbled path.

Every once in a while James would side glance to see if Lily was still by his side and found that his heart ached to see she was still there. Her face was buried behind her scarf but her green eyes would look up at him and James could tell there was no trace of hate behind them.

And that killed him.

There was nothing more he wanted than to have Lily loath him. He wanted her to make snide remarks at him at work or insult how under trained he was compare to her. He had made plenty of mistakes that should have been unforgivable, yet, she remained at his side. He knew Lily was uncommonly kind but he didn't deserve it. He knew she struggled to work with him. His feelings hadn't faded away as he hoped they would.

He hoped his feelings had disappeared to be uncaring if Lily still felt for him. He didn't want to wonder if she thought of him. James didn't realize that a past relationship held connections that prove hard to cut off. The first time he saw Lily since the last day of school brought a flood of emotions. His chest ached into an unbearable pain as she walked by him introducing herself to the entire Order. She began explaining tactics she had learned in training and suggested operations to Dumbledore to seemed impressed. In fact, everybody was impressed.

James was just floored to see her again and to hear her speak.

He would never admit it but as he wrote down notes his mind wandered off and flashes of memories pasted through his mind in slow motion. He knew it was cheesy. It was cheesy in those motion pictures Remus forced him to watch and it was cheesy as it happened to him. When he returned to his flat after the meeting, he had no idea what to do with himself. He paced around. He scratched his head. He frivolously recited spells. James was a mess. It took every inch of effort not to go find Lily that night and every night after that.

It was clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. She was warm, as always, but towards James she kept her contact limited so that she would not send the wrong message out to him. James read her loud and clear. He didn't want to overstep his boundaries but he wanted some sort of punishment for being wrong. He had concentrated so much on trying to be fearless and strengthen his weaknesses that he had forgot what he was fighting for. He was fighting for a better world for the both of them, so they could get married and have children without wondering if their family was next to be exiled.

"How was your day?" Lily piped up.

James looked at her, amazed she spoke up.

"Um, I had a crepe today." James blurted out. He nearly threw himself in the Serpentine. It was such a stupid response.

Lily cracked a smile. Not a full one, the corners of her lips pulled up slightly as she looked down at her feet.

"Was it delicious?" She casually asked.

James scratched the back of his head, nodding. Fortunately James was nearing the place he was taking Lily. He slowed down his already slow walk. He lingered in front of a statue he had been searching for: Peter Pan. Lily stood by him, looking at the statue as the sun's last rays illuminated it.

"Don't you wish we were eleven again?" James asked.

Lily's eyes zoned out as her expression grew dim.

"They were easier times, weren't they?" She sighed, "I miss being eleven but I wouldn't want to be a child forever."

James took his eyes off the statue, "Why not?"

"Everything has its seasons." Lily explained, "Sure, I look back and all I remember are the wonderful memories of being a child but we all grow up. We trade it in for experiences."

"What do you remember when you think about us?" James asked.

Lily shyly looked away, not because she was timid to answer but she feared that tears might over flow. She didn't have time to cry over his letter and she could feel a tank of tears ready to pour at any second, especially over touchy matters like themselves

"I remember you trying to impress me." Lily slowly pieced out, "It was annoying but then the beginning of Seventh year…"

James felt a huge grin spread over his face at the mention of Seventh year. They were both heads of Gryffindor and it was on the first week of school when they found themselves red faced from the lack of air of a broom closet from which they emerged during a nightly patrol of the corridors. After that, it took a lot of coaxing from James to force Lily to admit she had feelings for him, and rather strong ones at that. It took even _more _coaxing to have her as a girlfriend. It was bliss after that. He found comfort in her when the had the constant reminder of what was to face after school was done for them but there was a breaking point for him. Even Lily couldn't help with it and that was their undoing. It was James' fault.

He knew it was his fault and he did not allow himself to be helped. He vaguely remembered Lily wooing him into her embrace or humming lightly as he rest his head on her chest when they picnicked near the Great Lake. It took his mind off things for just a second but it wasn't enough. He was constantly worried about his fear of the future that it suffocated him.

Lily should have been enough. She _was_ more than enough but James couldn't deal with his own inter turmoil that he let her go. She drifted off and he never fought for her. It wasn't until school was over and he heard through the grapevine that Lily decided to start training early did he have time to reflect. He missed her immensely. He craved to hear her humming again or to feel her arms around him, ensuring that things were going to be fine. And for the time being, things were fine. He traveled and discovered that the places untouched by this war were well worth enjoying, like Lily had said.

"Time wasted isn't really wasted," James spoke up, interrupting Lily who was still talking about her memories of them.

"Huh?"

James gulped and bit his lip, "I was wrong. The time I _did_ waste was not enjoying what was left of life."

Lily shook her head, "There's plenty of time left."

"I know I hurt you and I know I'm already forgiven but I wish I could have a time turner just to go back and changes things." James admitted, "You don't deserve someone like me. I'm stupid, self-centered at times, I have trouble figuring out what's worth fighting for, and most often I figure that out when it's too late."

Lily remained silent.

"You deserve someone who is more attentive than I was, someone who realizes their mistakes in time, and probably someone who can wait to travel with you." James looked at Lily who was silently letting tears rolled down her cheeks, "You deserve the moon and back Lily, and I wish I could give that to you but I also realized that second chances are hard to come by."

Lily nodded, "You're right. Sometimes people only get one shot."

James frowned but nodded, "I don't understand why you are civil towards me. I'm rotten. I've should have listened."

Lily took in a deep breath just as the sun sink down into the horizon. She studied the Peter Pan statue with her analytical eye, before turning around to face the Serpentine Lake. Its lazy waters lightly lapped the edge of the bank.

"What is it you want then? A second chance?" Lily asked.

James shook his head, "No. I don't deserve it. Even if I did have one, I'd be so afraid to mess up again, I don't think I would take up the offer. I just want things to be back to normal, so we won't have to be so formal with each other."

Lily faced James, her expression quiet upset, "But you still love me."

James tried hard to piece something out, "Yes… well, I mean errrr… I'm not sure if that is enough. Maybe I'm confusing regret with love."

"Kiss me, then." Lily said, simply. She looked into James eyes, which shifted around, like a guilty five year old who was caught red-handed stealing cookies from the jar.

"I don't think…" James started.

Lily raised her brows, "If you're confused then it will sort that out, wouldn't it?"

James bit his lip and shook his head.

"You're afraid." Lily nodded.

"I'm not. Kissing is something I don't fear." James smugly said.

"Then I don't see why it should be a problem." Lily shrugged, "If the chemistry is still there we can move forward, if not, we move forward. We can't sit and dwell on the past for too long James. That's time wasted."

James shook his head, "I can't."

"It's just a kiss, fearless." Lily teased.

"The implications of it, Lily" James shook his head, "I already know the answer. I don't want to lose you again but mostly; I don't want to hurt you. I get this pain in me every time I see you past by because I know it was my fault that we're practically strangers now. I don't fear a kiss, I fear what it will become into."

Lily's eyes brimmed with fresh tears, "You don't want the second chance I'm offering because you're afraid?"

"Yes." James nodded, "I don't understand why you're not afraid either."

"I'm possibly more afraid than you are." Lily admitted, "Because I see the path quite clearly with you. It seems predictable and tame and very scary."

"Living the entire rest of your life with me is scary?" James tone changed drastically. He seemed amused by the thought.

Lily nodded, "But I guess my future is different from what I imagine it to be. Taking the plunge is pretty scary, you're right about that. Few people actually take it, and I assume fewer live through it."

Lily began scaring herself out of the kiss while James took it up as a challenge. He had to know now. Lily was completely right. If there was something still between them then it was worth a second chance. He reached out for her hand and intertwined it with his. Lily seemed shocked by the gesture.

"James, I don't this is a good-"

James made sure she didn't finish her sentence. He had face her directly and, like many times before, lower his head so that their foreheads were touching. Lily trailed off, in a daze. James brushed his lips on to hers. Lily didn't react like she used to. She kept her eyes open as he pressed his lips on to her once more. A surge of fear rushed through James, contemplating that she might not feel the rush of heat running through her as he felt it.

But he didn't give up.

He tried once more and Lily's lips slightly parted, her lips drifted closed just as James lip's crashed down for the third time and that's all it took. The two were in a lip-locking embrace it was hard to tell which appendage belonged to whom. James understood why he needed Lily. He was fearless with her. She was the encouragement he needed. It took a long lonely trip to help him figure that out.

_"The places we should have gone… and all we really needed was to be here."_

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><p><em><strong>Thank you for reading.<strong>_


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